I want to tell you I love you...

I WANT TO TELL YOU that I'm not all right. But I can't. I have to be strong. Keep strong. For the both of us. I just want to go back. Back when your beautiful golden-brown locks moved through my fingers and your scent made me swoon with its lovely rosey air. Those carefree days when you'd tell me we'd always be together. I want to listen to your heart, listen to its soft beating beaneath your swollen chest. Beating, telling me of all your loneliness, your desires, your woes, your reliefs. I want to tell you that I won't be all right. But I can't. I look at you as we both lie here, your long, glimmering hair on my chest, my hands clasping yours, resting on your stomach. The September sun shines on your beautiful figure, and I worry what happens next.

I want you to tell me you'll be all right, because if you won't, I don't think I'll ever be, and we'll be as miserable as we were when we weren't together to begin with. But your petite hands are grasping mine, and it's as if I feel you touching my soul, telling me we'll get out of this alive.

You have to tell me you're all right because I don't think I can do this. If I can just tell you the truth, I'd cry right now. But I don't want you to worry. Because if you do, I'll break down even more. I'm holding my tears because I don't want them to cloud my view. I want not your beautiful brown eyes to be hidden from my sight because it's the only thing that keeps me calm, the only thing that's keeping me calm. Your eyes that attracted me the first time we met. Your eyes that told me we'll be all right once we went through our journey. You have to tell me you'll be all right because I can't stand it anymore. My head rests on your strong, caring chest, and I hear your heart beating. I feel it shaking my whole body, giving me life. And it scares me deep inside to know what's happening. I can't live this way for the both of us. It's tearing me apart.

I have to tell you I'm not all right. And I don't know where we're going, but if you'll be beside me, I think I can muster enough strength to do this. I feel the warmth of your hands holding my own, and I hope it's you telling me you won't leave me alone. I don't know how and I don't why but I LOVE YOU.